I have recently come to the conclusion I can't live my son's life for him. I am not sure quite why I have a fear of failure...for him. It's this inner pain, heart pounding anxiety, wanting to control the life he has to live. Quite frankly, it seems irrational. I mean, if my parents had lived my life for me, where would I be? I found early in life that failure was a part of life, and it was a meaningful part of life because I learned more about me...about God....and my need to trust Him. If I hadn't failed, I don't think I would have the personal ability to not be crushed by failure, the pick "myself up by my bootstraps-work through anything" ideology. I don't really worry about failing for myself because I know, with failure, I learn about me...about how to overcome...about how to keep moving...and success. I've done it lots...and I'll do it more.
With this heart-thumping worry, I spend too much time, wasting hours, pondering how I can 'make' him more successful. In doing so, I am losing my perspective on his need to encounter failure, to overcome it. He needs to find out for himself how to move out of it...keep going...trust God...and succeed.
For now, I'll have to "let go, let God" carry me through this time. One thing I know...he needs to endure it, persevere through it. I need to back off...and stop fearing it.
honestly I do believe parents have to throw there children into the lions at some point. And have them befriend them themselves instead of spectating them from behind a glass wall and be given the illusion that thy are friendly.Sure he will get some bites here and there and as a mom i understand it will hurt but its for his own good. Like a shot we all hate it and at times the pain is unbearable but it builds an immunity to illness and having him have some control in his life will build an immunity to confusion and fear of growing up. But just because your letting him go in a sense doesn't mean you cant be there for guidance lord knows how many times ive fallen and have been bit and wished some told me why i messed up and how and had given me some constructive criticism. Instead of letting me put my hand in the fire again and again. let him fail but stand in the side lines and assure him that the lions are tamable and you will give him a hand when they get fierce.
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